Я гнусный шиппер и ничего не собираюсь с этим делать!

[jackieguilty]

Товарисчи, владеющие английским в достаточной степени, чтобы читать на нем не особо мудреные тексты! Это Вам. Если интересно, конечно.



Кажется, я не просто шиппер, а еще и флаффер. Ибо то, что я сейчас сюда выложу, наверное, все-таки флафф. Ну и нафиг.



Ах, да. Я еще и сентиментальная дура.



Кои, почитай.



Итак, фик по Грави, Рюичи/Тома.



Title- Devil and Light



Author- Pika_Safire



Beta- Rae-Rae



Rating- M, for slash content



Summary- Ryuichi loved the feelings Tohma gave him… Ryu/Tohma



Disclaimer- Don’t own, don’t sue



Authors Notes- apologies for any inconsistencies, have not yet read all the manga. Read and Review, it’s my air!





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Ryuichi loved the feelings that Tohma gave him. That feeling of spinning round and round with your eyes closed, or twirling in one of those spinning chairs. It made him giddy and light-headed. Like having drunk too much wine. Potent and unfathomable- that was Tohma.



He loved the way Tohma always touched him. Just little caresses as he went past, stroking his hair, or brushing his hand across his cheek, maybe running his finger down his spine. Sometimes Ryuichi purred, just to see Tohma smile, that genuine grin, not that fake polite smile he used so often.



Sometimes Tohma bought him candy, when they had to sit through those long meetings, Tohma would sit next to him to keep him distracted when others weren’t looking, slipping him candy hearts, or strawberry pocky sticks. Caressing his knee every now and then when he pouted, wanting to crawl under the table and play with Kumagoro. Sending him that sympathetic look, like he knew just what Ryuichi wanted to do and giving his hand a squeeze as if to beg him to stay with him those few extra minutes. Ryuichi always stayed when Tohma looked at him like that.



He loved the way Tohma did those little romantic things. Slipping him only the hearts with “I love you”, and “be mine.” Tying notes for him around Kumagoros’ neck. Loved how he knew everything would be all right, no matter what the situation was, because Tohma was always there, looking after him, making sure everything went right.



He didn’t know why Tohma cried. Didn’t understand how he could be so miserable when there were so many things to be happy about. He’d lost count of the times where K had bought him home, and he’d found Tohma in bed, with the covers over his head, as if to block out everything that was making him sad. The first time, Ryuichi had been scared to get under there with him, scared that he’d let all the bad things in, or that maybe, maybe he was one of them. But Tohma had looked at him, with his beautiful tear stained face, looking ashamed, and turned away, murmuring an apology. And Ryuichi had crawled over, wrapping his friend in his arms and crawling under with him, knowing then that he was making it better.



It became a routine, climbing into bed with him, wrapping his arms around his friends’ slight frame, holding him tightly as if it would stop the tremors that shook his body, and he’d talk about nothing in particular. Maybe about the new outfit he was buying for Kumagoro or some new song lyrics. Sometimes he’d sing softly. Never pausing until the shaking had stopped and Tohma’s eyes were closed in sleep; the lines in his face making him seem worn and old.



Ryuichi never left, staying awake to guard his dreams. It was worth it just to see his face when he woke up, to see him blink his eyes sleepily, uncharacteristically unguarded. Ryuichi always gave him his winning smile and Tohma always smiled in reply- not much; just a twitch of one corner, but then, Ryuichi knew everything would be okay.



Ryuichi never let him apologise or thank him, but accepted the kisses that Tohma always gave him afterwards. The ones that made his legs turn to jelly and his insides churn. He loved the way Tohma tasted; how his kisses made him forget everything but wanting more. He always let Tohma lead, let Tohma tell him when to stop; He’d do anything to see him happy.



But he felt guilty sometimes. Teasing him on stage, playing with him. He loved the power he had when he performed, that feeling that made him feel like a giant, standing in front of an anthill. He was in control; no one could scold him for not having Kumagoro with him, or for wandering off. These people wanted him, desired him, his body and his voice. He could see that same look in Tohma’s eyes as he watched his body twist and turn. Just for him. The stage gave him power. Power to give Tohma what he wanted, to give in to what his own body desired without fear. But afterwards, he always felt guilty, like he’d taken advantage of Tohma, that maybe Tohma hadn’t wanted it. But then, sometimes Ryuichi couldn’t help it; he loved Tohma best of all.





Angel and Devil



Saint and Sinner





Tohma loved Ryuichi’s innocence best; that special blend of ignorance and lack of social skills, his utter misunderstanding of everything. K was definitely right when he said Ryuichi walked a thin line between genius and social stupidity.



He loved those little faces Ryuichi made. When he was being made to do something he didn’t want to do, when he was chatting away to Kumagoro, how his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth when he was drawing. Ryuichi was quite an accomplished artist when he wanted to be. Tohma had many pictures, some of them framed; other filed safely away, some childish and colourful, others betraying the man beneath- a constant reminder of both sides of his Ryu



He envied his carefree attitude. How he could become completely entranced with a rainbow, or have the time of his life in a puddle. He made Tohma feel superficial and phoney, concerned only with money and business, and the best way to succeed. Sometimes he wished he could be like Ryuichi. Always having someone there to protect him, to hold him, and bring him back when he got lost or distracted, that there was someone to do his work.



He didn’t resent taking care of Ryuichi- quite the opposite. Tohma would have walked the earth if it meant that Ryuichi could retain his innocence and be happy. So he gladly took the extra workload. Knowing at least that when it became too much, Ryuichi would be there to hold him while he cried.



He always felt guilty afterwards, like he’d tainted Ryu by showing his pain, that maybe he was hurting him. And maybe he understood more than he let on. He always gave him that innocent smile when he woke up. The one that made him want to kiss him and hit him at the same time. The one that made his heart swell with love yet scream with frustration.



He loved Ryu. He loved both sides of Ryu. But it made him feel guilty- dirty afterwards. When Ryuichi finally lay sleeping in his arms and Tohma would lie there, hating himself. He was so much like a child. Who was he to strip away the innocence with his petty problems?



He loved his grace. That fantastic sensuality he could invoke on will. Clumsy and carefree one moment, dark and powerfully sexual the next. Prowling like a cat on the hunt, his movements liquid satin. It was almost enough to make Tohma lose all concentration watching him perform. Almost impossible to connect him with the childish character that was his usual persona. It frustrated him- that that side of Ryu was so often locked away, untouchable to him unless Ryuichi permitted it.



But those other times on stage or after performing. The raw sexuality that he radiated, the blinding desires he invoked. Teasing him, watching him, dancing for him. Little smirks, looks that made Tohmas stomach drop, his breath catch and his face flush. Those times, there was no doubt that Ryuichi was in charge. Those times, the dressing rooms were never close enough, their clothes not removed fast enough. Passion, raw unbridled desire. The utter need to feel flesh on flesh. Rare times when Tohma could let himself go. Not have to worry about hurting, about being in control. Ryuichi would look after him.



Tohma hated that feeling of confusion, didn’t like not understanding what was going on. It made him feel dizzy, out of control. That feeling of spinning round and round with your eyes closed, or twirling in one of those spinning chairs. It made him giddy and light-headed. Like having drunk too much wine. Unpredictable but addictive- that was Ryuichi.





Light and Darkness



Innocence and Sin





END